Bruised is the New Black
Rescuing me from a night where I would have been one of approximately four single people at a 351-guest wedding: HTTM, who offered to drive two hours to meet me at the reception at the Country Springs Hotel in Pewaukee, Wisconsin after figuring out his commitment to teach a board-breaking seminar at his tae kwan do studio prevented him from leaving Chicago in time to make the ceremony. He offered this without knowing about the everyone’s-a-couple predicament; like any normal person who invites someone to a wedding after only four dates, I acted like I would be fine flying solo.
About two hours into the reception, he was matching me step for crazy arm wave on the dance floor—pretty heroic, since once the music starts, I don’t sit down. Shortly thereafter, I leapt onto a luggage cart that the maid of honor wheeled onto the dance floor, he whirled it like a merry-go-round and I faceplanted onto the hardwood floor, resulting in a shattered tumbler of Jameson and a terrific spotlight dance to “Walking on Broken Glass” by Annie Lennox.
In other words, come Sunday I couldn’t wipe either the black eye or the goofy smile off my face. Then…nothing. Four days of nothing. No calls. No texts. No “What are you doing tomorrow/this week/this weekend/the wedding was awesome/I want to see you.”
I fretted. I talked to my best friend on the phone, who oddly enough was going through the same thing with the guy he’s dating (minus the black eye). I finally caved and texted him late Thursday night, convincing myself at least I could confirm he had lost interest and move on. And when he replied with a very cheerful recap of his busy week and a question of when I was free that weekend, I realized I was playing the part of the crazy girl. Sometimes, it’s hard not to. Luckily, the only people who know are, oh, the eight dozen or so friends I enlisted to reassure me between about noon on Monday and 8:29am on Friday. Special shoutout to C., whose response was “Seriously, I’m going to commit to celibacy. Maybe he’s come down with a near death illness? Botulism?” I may like this guy, but I love my girlfriends.